Anti-black racism, higher education, job search: a
personal reflective journey.
Bernadette Mary Poku RN
October 2020
Just recently, I decided to apply for a
new nursing position with a different company in a small town. I have been
nursing with this particular institution for over ten years. I have grown
during this period as a person. I have amassed diplomatic and negotiation
skills; I have learned to fight my battles and engage in winnable battles. Each
day I work within the institution I see more and more of attitudes and
behaviors that need to change but do not. As a black woman, I have also learned
to use language that addressed race and racism, microaggressive behaviors and
de-escalate issues within the healthcare setting. Although I felt confident
with all my experience and education, I was also very aware of who I was and
where I was. I was in a white space. After a recent interview that I felt I did
well, but was too unsure, I asked the second interviewer of her opinion and if
there were any questions, she would like to ask she found the interview very
insightful and in-depth and really pull on different areas of nursing. Then the
usual, I will hear from them. I did hear from them and got the job after the
rave reviews from my previous and present clinical educator. To be able to
celebrate this, I had my own emotional and psychological turmoil.
I was dealing a double consciousness. The
me that my friends and I know, a smart and confident woman, an educated and
passionate nurse and what the world sees, a black woman with too much of an
exuberance. Would I be concerned with all these “views” about me if I was a
white woman? I was not only dealing with the double consciousness of how black
people see me, but how the world out there, white and other perceived non
blacks perceived me, included in that is the gender aspect. Black women are the most educated group in
the United States; however, that education does not translate to earnings. In Canada, I belong to the trend of black
women getting their masters and pursuing higher education but at it all, we
deal with the demons of society in the privacy of our homes. We deal with the
intersectional of identity formation that has been influence by the social
experiences had and the keen knowledge of anti-blackness in the country. The awareness I have gained, as a black woman
in nursing, does not correlate with the research material and discussions of
experience, which are needed change narratives and policies. I question more
often, how many of us have had mental breakdown due to work place violence, aggression
and discrimination from management, colleagues and clients.
Although I got the job, the mental and
psychological turmoil I went through was unwarranted. This occurred because of
social attitudes and behaviors towards black people. Waiting for a turn down
because of skin color irrespective of qualifications. The nature of and types
of injustices that we deal with.
Reference
https://www.thoughtco.com/black-women-most-educated-group-us-4048763
https://blackhealthalliance.ca/home/antiblack-racism/
https://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2009/05/14/darker_the_skin_less_you_fit.html