FEAR DOES NOT DISAPPOINT:
USING FEAR TO YOUR ADVANTAGE
Written by
Nana Yaa Yeboaa
In the year 2020 when the pandemic hit,
many people were adversely affected both mentally and financially. Some lost
their lives, others their sources of income. Life became challenging and is
still challenging. Many including myself, we're stressed and overwhelmed.
Unhappy with workspace and place. This propelled certain decision making that
has led to the writing of this article.
Working in an institution that guarantees
one’s pension, to leave is to lose a pension, to leave at this time of
uncertainly is madness. Fear of losing self-control, going out of my mind,
dreading the long drive and the long tedious days of expectation and workplace
stress were the deciding factors. My fear of insanity was paramount. I choose
to keep sanity and rather than work for a pension.
This fear made me reassess my potential. I
had anticipated leaving but its immediacy was not planned, fear made me leave
two years earlier. Subsequent resignation from a second institution within six
months of starting brought me to the next level of my professional career. At
present, a much more purposeful and satisfying role without the guarantee of
pension benefits on retirement.
That is what fear does for me, it propels
me. But for others, fear keeps them in a loop and a bind, a place of misery.
Fear of adventure, of exploring life, of the unknown such as where our next
source of income will come from, how am I going to live if I am not working,
how is my old age going to be like if I do not have a pension? This fear of the
unknown keeps us in a place of unhappiness. If one has the understanding that
life, every day, is an adventure and be open to exploring, one may discover
parts of themselves they did not even know existed. Parts of themselves that
are matured and meant for greater things in life.
Understanding Fear
We all experience fear in one way or the
other. Let us break it down with this article from Dale M. Kushner. The founder of The Writer's
Place and the author of The Conditions of Love. Dale
talks about fear as “a neurophysiological response to a perceived
threat.” Which “activates our fight-or-flight response by stimulating the
hypothalamus, which directs the sympathetic nervous system and
the adrenal-cortical system to prepare our bodies for danger.” It is
important to note that fear is a perception, and if it is, then it can be
changed.
Tony Robbins a highly sought-after motivational speaker speaks
of fear as “a common current that runs through all of our
lives. And if we let it, fear can keep us locked up in the prison of the
comfortable and predictable, which prevents us from reaching our true
potential”. Most importantly, Tony conveys that “living in fear causes a
double conundrum where you’re unfulfilled with the status quo yet afraid to
pursue anything better.” When we delve further into the subject of fear
psychologist divide fear into two parts.
Innate Fears Vs. Learned Fears
You cannot say you are afraid of something
without having a foundational understanding of what your fear is. Before I left
my previous place of employment, each time I expressed a desire to leave, to
pursue opportunities and dreams, the conversation with other people deflated
the will and strength in me. rather they share with me their fears
of not being able to make it or be successful, they spoke in confidence that I
had a “stable job”. Predictable. The same sense of learned fears by many
immigrants kept me in place. As time progressed and I learned to understand my
innate fear of failure, I began researching fear.
Innate fears are there to protect us, we
are born with them. The fear of fire, hunger, being bitten by a
snake. This sense of survival that are necessary for safety.
However, remember some have managed to conquer their fear of fire to become
firefighters, we have agriculturist and farmers working tirelessly to ensure
the world does not go hungry.
Learned Fears
For instance, I cannot understand the fear
of black people by white people. This is conditioned and learned fear. Fear of
technology, fear of death, the unknown amongst many others. We have been
socialized in most cases to fear that we do not understand or know.
Fear is both good and bad. Fear, for
our ancestors, was a protective mechanism that either helped them survive or
killed them. However, there are many things people fear including
each other, and fear of rejection. We all have fears that prevent us from
moving towards our destiny and exploring our potential.
Understating What Is Important to You.
The man called Curtis Jackson or popularly
known as 50cents portals overriding of fear and transcending fear. In his book
hustle harder, after he was shot 9 times, he needed to get back into the game.
He needed to override his fear of getting shot again by getting someone to go
with him when he went for a run. Fear of failure kept him going, on the other hand,
while fear of failure keeps people in bondage, for others such as Curtis
Jackson, it propels them. Fear is the fuel that kicks start their engine. 50
cents used his fear of failure to transform himself, advance his career and
become a millionaire. Honesty with your fear(s) and working to unfear the fear
(s) is half the work.
Death by fear
Fear can kill and destroy dreams. Fear does not disappoint when you give it the energy to go
ahead. When you allow fear to dictate your life, indeed, it becomes what it is,
a life lived in a bubble with no substance. Paulo Coelho, the author of the book, the alchemist in an interview with
Orpah, the author notes, “it is not enough to know what you want; you have to do what you
want to be what you want”. To get to be what you want involves overcoming fear.
Fear of judgment, fear of failure and or fear of the unknown. Do not let fear
kill you.
Death by fear, in this section I write about
people diagnosed with cancer and are palliative. Doctors give people a timeline
by which they will live. People accept these timelines and begin to worry about
how long they must live wallowing in fear and the fear gradually killing
them. In my nursing care with such people, those that have found
purpose and live intentionally have a better quality of life have lived longer
than anticipated. Thus, you choose what you want fear to do for
you. Do you want to overcome fear and excel or live under the
shadows of fear and wilt?
Try some of the things that you have always
wanted to do. If you need to better yourself, take a course, at least try. When
I started graduate school, I told myself even if I did not pass my course (s) I
still learn from the professors and my co-students, that was fear talking, I
was in a class with all these young and fresh students, immigrants coming to
further their education in Canada. Sometimes what we do not realize is, we have
more in us in terms of experience, and the fear of failure is a good thing
because the focus becomes getting better. The key is to do. If you try and it
does not work out, ask yourself, what could I have done better? If you have
always wanted to travel to other countries but afraid, travel to a part of
North America you are unfamiliar with as a test, start from your back yard and
expand the experience. Sometimes you just must do it. That is what is called,
leaping faith. Do not waste time being afraid.
Master your fear.
There is a common trend amongst individuals who
are successful and wealthy in life. They tried their hands-on different jobs,
businesses. Some failed repeatedly, others not so much. The common thread
amongst these individuals is, they did not fear failure. Their fear was staying
still and not achieving. That burning urge, that idea that nothing is
impossible takes root in them. To deny them is to challenge them to hammer and
wear the issue down. Many of us give up too easily. Thus, we want the easy way
out. There is an easy way out, but it does not lead to wealth
creation. The life of Curtis Jackson, Oprah Winfrey, Trevor Noah
shows this. When people doubted them, they pushed harder and have become the
present-day motivational speakers/gurus we listen to. I want to be like Orpah,
but I can not be Oprah, I can be nana Yaa Yeboaa. You and I can learn from
successful individuals the paths to success they navigated and model my path like
theirs.
Resources
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-VLHNpwju0
